In different times, not that long ago, love wasn’t the primal factor that determined a marriage. People were rather chosen for one another according to financial, political, generally outer criteria – almost nothing was less important in this process than free will.

This kind of life meant the imperative of accepting any person that was preordered to us which is now almost unimaginable.

Now, the freedom of choice is at its peak, but nevertheless, we so often find ourselves feeling terribly alone in the days and years of our lives.

With the freedom comes the full responsibility of managing to find “that right person”, as well as the dreadful possibility of never finding them, or failing to maintain a relationship with someone who “could be the one”…

In all this, the idea of one person that is somehow destined just for us and will be there no matter – the idea of a soulmate is very tempting.

But a possibility like this is also dangerous because, what if we don’t find them? Does everyone have one? Is there only one? Could something as big and as overwhelming as love be coincidental, or destined?

Nevertheless, thinking and talking about the possibility of finding a soulmate does not cease simply because many and most of us have lived to an experience of looking into another person’s eyes and truly “feeling like seeing God”, as someone once beautifully said.

Most surprisingly, true grasping of the idea of soulmates involves prior understanding of the soul itself. This doesn’t necessarily need to involve becoming a meditating shaman in the top of the mountains, rather it can simply be translated into knowing oneself truly in order to recognize what one truly needs.

Apart from the aforementioned questions in terms of this topic, one of the most important and most popular one is How do we recognize if someone is our soulmate?

This article will be devoted to an attempt of answering that question through delivering a better understanding of the term itself and dispersing some of the delusions about it.


Explaining what makes one someone’s soulmate is hard because “knowing”, or rather feeling it is more of an emotional than a rational process.

The good thing is that there are always fragments of this energy mirroring in reality and they are a proof and a relief for our rational perception. One of these magic proofs is a describable possible reaction upon meeting someone who is destined to us.

Instant reaction (resembling recognition) is not a definite, nor the only guiding signal that you might be in a presence of your soulmate. Furthermore, maybe is a surplus here, because a part of this reaction is a feeling of absolute certainty that you are laying your eyes on something that is significant for your soul.

There are various paths two souls can cross and this translates into most various stories.

Some have had their soulmate present in their lives for years without realizing it’s them and some had been acquaintances long before recognizing the value of one another.

Others are a couple that broke up ten years ago but will find each other again. But one of the more certain ways, (and, unfortunately, the one that is much rarer than shown on film) is instantly feeling a spark of magic in the moment of catching someone’s eye with yours.

The reason why this is one of the signs that feel the most real is because it is momentary and therefore physically and emotionally potent, overwhelming.

This “spark” is followed by a kind of magnetism that draws us to the person and the purpose of this is most probably bringing the two together, almost like pheromones serve procreation.

This phenomenon can be differentiated from lust – the experience simply significantly goes beyond the physical in every way, it is more like a “presence” than a feeling. It’s exactly like a title of a song by Boston says, “more than a feeling”.


One of the most important factors in terms of thinking about soulmates is the impact that they have on your life. The thing is, maybe the greatest delusion about understanding the concept of soulmates is the belief that their impact is always good, or rather feels good.

The essence of the idea of a soulmate lies in the necessity of meeting a person, a soul, in a course of a lifetime. That necessity is manifested through learning lessons about life, love, about anything significant for us in this life, and ultimately about ourselves.

A soulmate can be seen as a part of our life in which, or in whom is concentrated something that is for us significant in this life. It can be learning to save money, or teach philosophy, or invent a medical machine.

Our soulmate can be a college mentor or even our student later on. It can be a teacher who taught us what we came into this life to learn, which can be how to help people by talking, just as it can be simply how to love.

Soulmates are most frequently thought about in a matter of romance and love most probably because love is one of the most powerful forces that every human being strives to.

It is, in a way, a mission for all human beings and this is why the term itself took on that meaning. But, as explained, it goes way beyond it.

The presence of a soulmate in one’s life can’t be measured by something as fleeting as emotions. Learning, which is good, can induce unpleasant feelings as training, which empowers us, can cause pain.

But if a man had an ability to hover over the totality of his life for a moment, he would be able to see the significance of meeting someone who maybe destroyed his life and everything that he had in a day, the significance that is impossible to be seen in that day or even in the following years.

But that very event could be the thing that has led him to become the best version of himself later on.

Because the word itself took on the connotation of a romantic relationship, the sign that a partner is a soulmate is they make you and your life better over the days and years and seconds of you being together.

The reason why this term evokes a sense that it is someone very, very special is because we can really choose almost anyone to be our partner, but very few among the people that we will meet through the course of our lives will provide us with what we actually need.


A mythologeme in Plato’s dialogue Symposium tells a story about an ancient form of humans, a creature which consisted of two pairs of arms and legs, two heads, basically a compound of two people. The Gods got angry with these humans because they are so perfect and complacent that they decide to split them in half.

Ever since then, people have been spending their lives seeking for their long lost half and found the experience of reunion to be one of the most pleasant feelings possible.

This served as an explanation for why people usually describe as feeling “whole” when they’re in love. The character telling the story says himself that it is absurd, but a kind of creative form of truth in it can’t be disputed.

In reality, our match is a person who is similar to us and different from us. Having a relationship based on an extreme of either means either ending up in a comfort zone that becomes a mere shell or in an agony of misunderstanding.

It’s an already famous and way too romanticized idea that life is meant for two, not to be lived alone. We feel that so deeply, even though modern lifestyles push us into forgetting about that feeling, but it actually cannot be omitted.

It was already explained how not anyone can stand beside us maybe simply because there are not so many soulmates for one out there. Then, again, comes up that question – Doesn’t a soulmate by default mean it is destined for us to find each other and be together?

Unfortunately, that is a question bigger than this article. But we can say this – even without a guarantee of any kind of validation that our soulmate is out there waiting for us, one can strive toward being surrounded by people, friends, and partners, who fit them best. In people who compensate for some of our flaws, who can move where we are stuck, there is a magical potential of empowering and enriching our life. Having a person like this in one’s life, they can freely say they have found their soulmate.


The potential for making a really sad romance movie about two people originates from the allegedly sad fact that usually two people who “have found each other” don’t separate because of something they did. Rather, there is a kind of an unstoppable higher power that sets them apart.

These kinds of stories are the most heartbreaking and the king of the romance genre – Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose from Titanic… Strong reactions to them generate from the sense of innocence of both parties in the hands of destiny.

It is not all an overdone patheticism, as it actually has a base in reality.  By this, we are definitely not saying that if you find your soulmate there won’t be any problems, but that most problems will be solvable.

Although, even in a soulmate-kind of relationship there are sometimes obstacles that can’t be overcome. The truth is, even the best couples people fall apart due to work, parents, money, goals, and ultimately wrong timing.

But, the good news is, when the time is right and there is the right person by your side, hardly anything can come between you. The reason is just that there is very rarely a need to fight, no energy-draining misunderstandings, and this kind of relationship flourishes with strength.

The bond becomes so potent and productive that it can conquer just about anything, including many outer factors. It is here that you learn how to love.


Mutual understanding is not such a metaphysical category floating somewhere in the sky waiting to be caught. It can be a product of a very concrete set of circumstances and one of them is having a similar life.

If we think about the soul, we can freely say it is shaped by where we came from and where we are, have been and will be through our life. Just as the character is 50% genes and 50% experience.

No wonder then that we will find ourselves in someone who has lived through what we have. Let’s imagine a person experienced in a certain job and one with no experience whatsoever.

The inexperienced one, even if thoroughly trained and flooded with proficient knowledge can’t begin to explain, or even imagine, what it really means t, for instance, having to make a decision in a matter of seconds.

The feeling is unknown, therefore it can never be fully understood. The same difference can be imagined in terms of understanding between people. In the same way, we are more likely to understand something that we have felt ourselves.

We are much more likely to understand parts of someone’s world if they were parts of ours at some point.

This does not mean that people from the same backgrounds are soulmates. On the contrary, we have the freedom to react to our surroundings in various ways, and the reactions are primary causes of where we will end up and who we will meet there – who will our souls meet.


Dreams are a rather unexplored, therefore insufficiently understood topic, but there is undeniable proof that suggests a very real existence of a connection between dreams and life.

Unfortunately, these connections are very hard to comprehend. But that itself is one of the facts that are in favor of thinking of dreams as some kind of portal to a metaphysical realm.

Another very frequent unanswered contemplation is all about why we keep seeing something, or someone in our dreams? It must mean something.

There are various interpretations, psychology has a whole sector of studies dedicated to understanding dreams. And the other way around – dreams are one of the most important instruments in psychology.

Anyhow, all we intuitively know is that seeing someone in our sleep definitely means something, if nothing less, that we unconsciously think about that person.

Here, we get to another concept in psychology, the unconscious. This term is complicated maybe even more than dreams because it is even more abstract. There are speculations about collective unconscious etc.

Even though we can only presume, it is almost certain that a pattern of dreaming of one person has a significant meaning almost like seeing someone every day in real life. It is because there isn’t any other way to explain why something that isn’t real (dreams) feels so real.

Many different cases have been documented including people having dreamed of people they met later on in life. As said before, this doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is going to have an apparent immense impact on one’s life, but it can be an important signal that simply implies that they might.

To dream of somebody constantly, whether present in your life or absent from it, probably means that the person carries some kind of higher significance for your own existence.

Perhaps you’ll dream that you’re already in love and just wake up like that. Who knows.


This can be manifested even through the aforementioned dreams. Dreams are a good example of a symbolical presence when the physical is nowhere in sight. Some define soulmates as people who are together forever.

This is not completely generic. Some people who enter our life can leave it, but never actually disappear from it.

Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, but there are people who actually have never left us. We get overwhelmed with the passing events and often even take out of sight the constants that follow us through the good and the bad.

Only recognizing the people who marked our lives and made them better, even in subtle ways, can point us to the people of whom it is very suitable to think as our soulmates.


There are also very simple little signifiers that someone is destined to us. Noticing surprisingly numerous matches when it comes to taste for food, clothes, art, etc. feels like we are dealing with someone who seems like made just for us – and they probably are! We should strive towards knowing the people who share our passions, they are the first ones that are going to deepen and enrich them.

A soulmate can also be simply interpreted as a person who carries fragments of the same soul that we too embody. If the soul manifests itself in any tangible way, they would be personality traits (character), passions, even little things like hobbies and favorite foods.

Finding our match in these areas could mean a very exciting relationship, and experience, and can lead to the formal understanding of soulmates – a lifetime bond.

Humor is another interesting, distinctively human phenomenon. Humans are the only animals with the ability to laugh. Although being able to make someone laugh has become almost a corny joke and a commonplace notion in the idea of romance, humor is a very valid indicator of compatibility.

Because of the delicate nature of it – there is American, British, dirty, black humor – it is actually very hard to find a person that shares our sense of humor. And it is a lonesome feeling.

That is why finding someone who fills you with the expression of happiness – laughter – truly means you have found something special; it even wouldn’t be wrong to say that you found happiness.


The only possibility that your soul has encountered its soulmate is if they truly know your soul, your true self. The beautiful thing is that, in this kind of relationship, the mask naturally comes off.

Some psychologists and philosophers believed that this ability to be completely vulnerable and honest toward another person is one of the deepest human needs. This theory could be taken into account when considering the question of why people believe in soulmates.

Lies and pretending even in the most minor forms are exhausting, but unfortunately, most relationships survive on account of some lies used to cover up imperfections and hinder the boat from sinking.

Nevertheless, the belief that good, especially long-lasting, relationships are sustained on the account of lies are not true.

Basically, most people settle for good-enough relationships because of fear, guilt, lack of enthusiasm or confidence, etc. The real winners are those who find a kind of relationship that gives them a safe nest where they can always remember who they are because sometimes we tend to forget that in the world where every one of us mostly has to pretend.

Even that is not so unnatural, it is simply a cultural imperative that has probably existed since forever. Anyhow, being completely free in love is empowering and healing for our soul. If you found someone who fills you with this kind of feeling and energy, they may well be your soulmate!


Not all duos and couples have the luck of a happy ending (or even the luck of being together). This isn’t certain, or “a must” for every relationship, even if the people involved are soulmates.

It wouldn’t be wrong to say that Petrarch and Laura were soulmates in a way. They were probably destined to meet, but the frit of their encounter wasn’t ultimately love, but one of the greatest works of poetry in world literature.

Some people can take place of great importance in one’s life (and it doesn’t even have to be through love), but the point of very knowing them doesn’t have to be in the relationship itself. It can only be a factor that moved us toward creating great things.

Even marriages become dull and monotonous given enough years. The idea of soulmates associated with lifelong relationships can, in reality, be translated into two options. Either two people spent half of their time chasing each other, or they were together all the time, but never ceased to inspire each other in some way, therefore, their love lived to not fade away.


Some say that recognizing the best person for us is in accordance with the same goals, wishes, aspirations, even horoscope signs, but believe it or not, in this sense, horoscope signs could be the least wrong.

These are all significant factors, but the trouble is they’re also ultimately temporary. People change and this is the most beautiful and the saddest fact that tears apart most relationships that seem almost as a victim. One would say: “How did this happen, nothing was wrong…”

The only way to stay with someone “until the end” is to progress. Even if you have found the perfect person for you, everything fades because everything is temporary – lust, decisions, needs, money, character traits – even love. There is no such thing as finding a “done deal”, an infinite thing itself.

By now we very well see that love isn’t infinite – it can even turn into quite opposite things. But prolonging love for someone by avoiding entering the comfort zone can make a relationship simply last on its own.

Of course, this requires actively putting effort, which is usually the root of problems. Sometimes, we simply forget just what we could lose and put all the effort, in the beginning, meaning it is enough. But, the truth is, it isn’t.

Even if you think that you found your soulmate, if a possibility of you being apart seems so distant and impossible, don’t forget that one day you can wake up and find that you’re not the same people anymore.

That’s why, at all times, we have to actively strive towards being the best versions of ourselves, because that will be the person who is also the best for our loved one.

And even simply this could be a definition of a soulmate, or even love – just someone who is willing to grow in order to be the best for you, as for themselves. Either you’re growing together or you’re growing apart…


Sometimes overthinking and seeking validation can fill us with uncertainty and be more harmful than beneficial. If you are experiencing the luck of having by your side someone who makes you feel love, embrace it and give your best to cherish it.

Think of your truly loved ones as your soulmates, as people who must be meant to you in some way just because of the fact that they are by your side.

This way your heart will open and there won’t even be any more room for the people who don’t soothe and nurture your soul and your existence.

12 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate

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