15 Things to Say Before You Die
What would you like people to say about you after your demise?
What picture would you like your eulogy to paint?
Your eulogy can contain the normal things written in most eulogies as standard. It can however also contain some heart-felt expressions of the loss people feel because of your departure.
If you prefer the latter, there has to be some effort from your end.
You’ll have to live the kind of life you want written about.
This is not necessarily about what you achieve in terms of material wealth. It is about the lives you touch. The change you bring into people’s lives.
“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.” – Mother Teresa
There are many ways of touching people’s lives.
Forget the expensive vacations and 5-star hotel treats. It’s the small things that really matter. And those small things cost very little. As little as the energy required to say a few words.
Words are very powerful. The right words can build someone up while the wrong ones can tear him down in a second.
Are you willing to build your life’s resume today?
Here is a list of some simple words to say to the people you relate with. From family, friends, colleagues and even strangers.
As long as you get an opportunity to interact with someone, ensure you make use of any or several of these.
THINGS TO SAY TO YOURSELF
If you’re to say the right things to others, you must start by saying the right things to yourself.
Saying the right things is an expression of love, respect and appreciation.
And if you’re to show these to others, you’ve got to start where charity begins—at home i.e. yourself.
This is because it’s difficult to love others when you don’t love yourself.
To help you start where you ought to, here are some words to say to yourself as often as necessary.
1. I Thank God for Life
Are you aware that globally, over 150,000 people die every day? Causes include diseases, road incidents, suicide, terrorism and others.
Considering these figures, it’s clear that being alive is not something to be taken for granted.
Being alive enables you to do many things and appreciate life.
Just think of the things you won’t be able to do if you were dead.
You can’t start or run a business, look for a job, get a promotion, have a family, have fun with friends etc.
With the understanding that nothing can happen if you don’t have life, make sure you’re grateful for it.
2. That’s a Day Well Spent
Have you ever considered how much effort you use to do the things you do?
Everything you do requires energy. Your body produces this energy from the food you take. The healthier your food intake, the better your body serves you.
Since you cannot eat non-stop so as to be generating energy 24/7, you need to use your energy well. This means you have to choose wisely the things you do.
And the more physical the activities, the more energy required.
The activities you get involved in include those related to work, exercises, household chores etc.
Hoping you always choose your activities well and reject anything unnecessary, you need to end your day on a positive note. As you show yourself some love, appreciate your own efforts.
As long as what you have done is valuable to your life, acknowledge the fact that you have been productive. Encourage yourself and you will have the right attitude for the following day.
That way, your tomorrow will see better efforts and better results.
This keeps you positive, increasing the chances of you being kind to others.
3. I Can Do It
Do you have a dream? A vision perhaps?
Dreams and visions are always big. If whatever you have is small and easily achievable, then it’s probably just a small task to be finished.
If it’s a vision, you most likely wonder whether you can even achieve it.
Well, if you’ve seen it with your mind’s eyes, then you can achieve it.
As long as it came from you, then it’s possible. All you need to do is take care of the mindset part of the process.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
If you are the type that sees the glass as half empty, then you have some work to do.
Convincing yourself that you have what it takes to achieve your dreams is the first step to take. Once this is done, the rest follows easily enough.
4. I Can Do Better
The process of achieving your dreams and accomplishing your goals entails finishing a number of set tasks.
For every task, there will at least be the goal, the time taken and the resources used.
In some cases, the quality of the result will have an impact on the overall dream.
What do you do to ensure you get the best at the end of it all?
You have to be consistent with the quality of work you produce. Your efforts should not just go towards working. You should work to bring out the best.
This is not a call to aim for the elusive perfection as that might be unrealistic.
Believing that you can do better is all about setting your mind on high quality. If this is your aim, settle for nothing less.
Take a look at your previous results and encourage yourself.
Find out what exactly needs improvement and how to go about it.
Be specific and take the right action to achieve the desired improvement in your next task.
You certainly can do better.
THINGS TO SAY TO OTHERS
There are many other positive things you can say to yourself. The point here is, once you establish the ground, you can then proceed to build.
Remember that you’re seeking to touch other people’s lives.
That means that you’re not really focusing on yourself.
The part of the process which makes you work on yourself is just to facilitate the real work.
Having developed the strength and belief in yourself to enjoy life and do better, help others do the same.
In today’s world where people are too focused on themselves, say the right thing to someone and give him something to think about.
As they appreciate you, they might follow your lead.
5. Thank You
As simple as these words are, they carry a lot of weight.
Nothing feels good as being appreciated for what you have done.
It may be listening to you share your story, helping you carry out some tasks, giving you advice on something etc.
Whatever it is that someone does, it’s important that you appreciate them.
If you’re married, your spouse needs to hear this often.
It will mean that the efforts put towards making your life better are appreciated.
And even as you say “Thank you,” let there be some action accompanying your words.
Treat your spouse like someone you truly love and appreciate.
Offer help and work towards freeing time to be spent together. Express your gratitude often so that these words become more common and easier for you to say.
6. I’m Sorry
Here’s another set of simple, short but powerful words. Words which can turn a bad situation around in a matter of seconds.
Any time you wrong someone, do not hesitate to apologize. Just say you’re sorry for the mistake you did.
It can be very difficult to say sorry since it means that you’re admitting a mistake—something few are willing to do.
But that unwillingness is exactly what makes a bad situation worse.
Remember that your actions are your responsibility. And so are your words.
Whereas your thoughts are not immediately evident to others, words and actions promptly reveal them.
And if they hurt someone, don’t think much about it.
Be quick to apologize. And mean it.
7. Please Forgive Me
Being sorry for your mistake is a good thing. It shows that you acknowledge the wrong and respect the other person enough.
But if you really want to make amends, here is what to do: ask for forgiveness.
This can be harder than simply making an apology. And for most men, it can be especially difficult. But knowing the importance of asking for forgiveness, your life can be smoother than you ever thought.
Asking for forgiveness is indeed a humbling thing to do. It strips you of your ego and brings you down from the high place you were at.
In any case, would you rather be prideful and have chaos with your spouse and friends? Or would it be better to choose humility and experience peace of mind and great relationships?
8. I Love You
Though actions speak louder than words, expressing yourself in words is powerful too.
It’s very good to do the things which make someone happy. This shows that you love them. They will be glad they knew you. And in the case of a spouse, that they married you.
But did you know that sometimes, there is a desire to just hear the words “I love you?”
In the family setup, children also need to be told that they’re loved.
This should be the norm and every family member ought to know that they’re loved.
One important thing here to note is that your actions should testify to the fact that you love the person.
Otherwise, these words will be meaningless. They can even be taken to be an attempt at manipulation.
9. You’re the Best
In line with appreciating people, touch the person’s heart by making a personal compliment.
Let them know that they’re the best person in your life.
To make it more real, connect these words with the action they took.
For instance, if someone gave you financial advice, tell them they’re the best financial adviser. If budgeting, the best accountant, or even auditor.
Tell them how much trouble they have saved you.
Build them up this way and they will actually define themselves by your words. That way, you’ll have created more confidence and meaning inside them.
This can go very deep in their memory. It can also encourage more confidence when they need it.
People love those who make their lives more meaningful.
And when people derive meaning for their lives from the words you say to them, you can be sure they will also have good words to say about you.
10. Let Me Help You With That
Just as people are helping you and you’re thanking them, look out for opportunities to give a helping hand. Never see someone struggle with something and leave them to handle it by themselves.
If you’re a specialist in that matter, go ahead and help. If you’re not, still offer help.
You can even ask the person to show you how to do the work so you can help.
The offer to help can also help unlock a solution simply by putting two heads together.
In helping, you’re telling that person that they are loved and valued. You never know; maybe that’s what they needed to feel better and important.
As people are thinking about their own problems and doing whatever it takes to solve them, being considerate and helpful goes a long way.
If you’ve studied through college, gotten a job and even a promotion or pay rise, then you know that achievements come through hard work.
Despite the stress and fatigue of working hard, you have persisted.
If you’re an entrepreneur, you know this better than someone employed. Starting a business is no joke.
And steering your business past the first year and continuing strong, is a real achievement.
Anytime you achieve something, congratulate yourself.
All the same, don’t just focus on your success only. Spread the joy by acknowledging others too.
When someone achieves something, congratulate them.
Let them know that you understand the effort they put in. In case you don’t, just tell them you can imagine that it wasn’t easy.
This will prompt them to talk with you about the journey. This is one part they will truly love.
Pay attention to them and after all they’ve said, congratulate them. Again.
12. I’m Proud of You
This is another great way of building someone up.
When someone does a good job, congratulate them and tell them that you’re proud of them.
Mention whatever association you have with them.
If your son, tell them you’re proud to have him as your son.
That he makes you proud. If your spouse, do the same. Your friend, the same.
When you do this, you make the person feel valued.
When he is valued, his confidence is increased and he will perform better and make you even more proud next time.
And since failure makes many lose confidence, this boost is sure to win people to your side.
13. Tell Me About It
Did you know that one of the most important skills is listening? Take the time to learn how to be a good listener.
Listening is very different from hearing. Hearing is when your ears are performing their duty whereas listening is an action.
Listening incorporates hearing as the first stage. But that is not where the bulk of the work is.
Listening is the deliberate effort to pay attention to the speaker and actively think about what is being said. That’s why it’s not very easy to listen.
There are simply too many distractions in life.
Too many pending issues and anytime your mind gets some “free” time, it picks something from its in-tray and starts processing it.
For perfectionists and people affected by OCD, it can get worse than this.
Their minds can even pick something from the out-tray and analyze whether it was done correctly.
Getting your mind to pay full attention to the current situation is tough.
But if you train yourself to listen, you will be very valuable.
People the world over are looking to just share their stories.
They carry so much weight in their hearts and can’t find anywhere to offload them.
In fact, one of the reasons relationships break, is the lack of communication—especially the listening part of it.
Decide that you’ll be a listener and encourage someone to tell you their story.
Just make sure you keep it to yourself.
14. I Trust You
Trust is earned.
And the more faithful you are with little things, the more you’ll be trusted with bigger things.
But did you know that you can actually make someone trustworthy by trusting them?
When you entrust something to someone, you actually give him the responsibility to do what you expect.
They will put in the effort since they don’t want to break the trust you have in them.
For them, it’s an attempt to prove that what you have said about them is true.
But note that you have to communicate it.
Instead of giving your juniors some work and trusting that they’ll do it well, tell them that you trust they will do it well. Express your confidence and you will see great results.
Being labeled trustworthy is a gain. It comes with lots of respect.
The person proving to be trustworthy also gets a boost in his self-confidence and they will—even if indirectly—credit it to you.
They will remember you as the one who gave them the opportunity to grow by entrusting them with some work.
15. I Need Your Help
If pride and humility were to fight, who do you think would win?
These are two character traits which are very distinct and the very opposite of each other.
A common cousin of pride is called ego. If you have a big ego, you will automatically have little humility.
When you ask for help, you indirectly say that you see the other person as the expert.
You are acknowledging your inadequacy and seeking the help of someone more able than you are.
Although it can be difficult to do this, some training will eventually make it possible.
Asking someone for help elevates their confidence levels. It makes them feel important and valued.
Making someone else feel valued will earn their help and attention.
And with appreciation once the help has been received, the situation may not be quickly lost from the memory of the person.
Expressing yourself is important. Do not resist the urge to do so.
You may be in need of help, appreciative of the help provided, seeking to make amends for wrong actions or anything else.
Whichever the case, train yourself to communicate by just expressing what you feel inside you.
This helps connect with the other person and that connection builds the other person too. Great connections contribute to making life meaningful.
You also stand to be loved both now and after you’re gone.
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