23 People with the World’s Most Ridiculous Job Titles
Have you heard of a Pornography Historian? Yeah, you heard right and if you are reading this article, you are in for far more ridiculous title than your laughing ribs can bear. (This write-up is without prejudice or malice to anyone. I was j just compiling the world’s title innovating souls).
According to a study by the Resolution Foundation, the idea of job title inflation has been growing in recent years, and there is steady growth in the increase of people who have senior-sounding job titles but who still earn middle-ranking wages or did not do as much as you would think they did.
Job title inflation is not all about career opportunism. The report found that the proportion of “managers” in the retail sector earning less than £400 a week increased from 37% to nearly 60% during the 2000s.
Cable explored how firms can benefit from re-titling their roles and a survey three months later revealed that employee-participants were 16% more satisfied with their work and 11% more closely identified with the company than employees in a control group.
But what’s the harm rebranding a traditional job title or creating a new one entirely?
Henry Goldbeck has argued that “creative” job titles confuse clients, also have the potential of seriously hurting job applicants in the digital era.
Since resumes are picked up by searching keywords, he says that “no one’s impressed by cool stuff like witty job titles”.
However, this has not deterred people from using genius or crazy or weird sounding or ridiculous titles.
If anything, the trend seems to be going more viral than ever. It is getting more of putting a title to anything you are doing even if it is a hobby or re-titling yourself to explore your freedom and job acceptance.
In any case, this list is sure to crack you up, put you in disbelief and it will also educate you.
So, sit back and enjoy your reading!
1. Matthew Shoup (Hacker-in-Residence at LinkedIn)
Heads up! Doctors no longer hold the authority on the word “Residence” in the professional parlance. Another individual has just incorporated the trademark and it is no other person than the ingenious Matthew Shoup, a former employee of LinkedIn.
He was initially employed as a “Technical Marketer”, but he redefined his role by creating internal tools and converting designs into products. Be that as it may, he has substantially earned himself not just a reputation from his wonder title that beckons shock but also a slot on this list. Cheers, Matt!
2. David Shing (Digital Prophet at AOL)
Sounds like there is a new name for digital forecasters. Not so fast though, some genius has a monopoly of thought on this one. David Shing has coined out a unique one and also has a business card with an embedded microchip with the inscription: “Digital Prophet, AOL.” This guy is paid quite a lot for his market vision powers. This is the Digital Wall Street X-Men!
3. Valentine Uhovski (Chief Storyteller at Microsoft)
Now, here is a fantastic one. Microsoft created an office to change customer perception and it is the storytelling office. The description is great and the title is genius.
Someone somewhere is paid by this giant company for telling stories to affect customers’ opinion.
Guess it is time to polish your storytelling skills and stop telling just your spouse your funny stories. Microsoft is paying!
4. Justin Timberlake (Chief flavor officer at Bai Brands)
Thought the word was “Brand Ambassador”. But Bai brands made it official and even has an advisory role. Think of something executive, think of CFO.
None other than the pop sensation, Justin Timberlake got this role and he flies the flag for the brand.
Holla Justin, your title is awesome.
5. Amanda Brennan (Meme librarian at Tumblr)
The nature of viral memes and jokes have demanded the office space for a librarian at Tumblr.
Personally, I agree that this job is much needed else, the ingenuity and special savagery we get to see and crack our ribs will soon disappear.
Memes on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Sports blogs etc. Tumblr is creating a digital intellectual property museum and the initiative is laudable.
Amanda Brennan is a content and community associate at Tumblr, but she is often referred to as a ‘meme librarian’.
She is in charge of watching ongoing trends and creating archives for historic or special ones. Like an artifacts collector. The necessity may not be debatable, but the title is undoubtedly one of the most ridiculous job titles ever.
6. Trent Arsenault (Freelance Sperm Donor)
Just when the idea of job title innovation was getting better, Trent decided to give us a reason to drop our jaws in disbelief. He is taking freelancing a notch higher.
What is not clear is whether the sperms come in test tubes or he literally comes to deliver it via the natural means, you know what I mean. *winks*.
Whichever way, Trent seems to have refined the bounds of freelancers to fertilization experts.
Just take it easy Trent.
7. In-House Philosopher (at Google)
Heads up, Philosopher King. Here is proof that multinational tech companies are not all Software and Artificial Intelligence freaks.
In order to get a humanistic perspective to engineering problems, Google created a special portfolio for a degree holder in Philosophy! And you can now guess what the job title is. Great idea Google, great perspective.
8. Ludwig Dahl (In Charge of the Big Door)
Fortunately, not only the top executives or marketers are entitled to rebranding their job titles.
Being a gatekeeper gives one a lot of time to ponder on this kind of subject.
Are you wondering how this is going to fit in right into the CV? Put your worries to bed. Call Ludwig Dahl.
9. Émile Burbidge (Chief Play Officer at Toys “R” Us)
His job is to play with the toys! The Company hires a child every year to test the toys just before it goes on to the shelves.
Personally, I think the job creators and employers racked their brains to come up with a job title that could best convey its description. Enter, Chief Play Officer.
I mean, what else would a child pray for?
Get paid to play with toys. Phew!
Even some adults will secretly wish they got this job.
Forget what it is going to sound like on their CV or when they introduce themselves outside the company: “I am the Chief Play Officer ….”. Anyway, Émile has admitted this is the “coolest job” ever.
I cannot disagree. What a job!
10. Lonnie Johnson (Professional Snuggler)
When did people start getting paid to give hugs and to cuddle? Why do you and I have to work this hard? I mean, life is this easy!
So, Lonnie is in the noble profession of giving out warmth, hugs and cuddling to whoever needs it. It is more of a call than a job. A truly noble call. What I cannot really place my finger on is whether Lonnie is paid for the hugs and cuddling or for hugging and cuddling without sexual intent.
If it were to be the latter, I doubt Lonnie would care about his call once he gets to hug Khloe Kardashian.
But then, Lonnie is not just a snuggler. He is a professional.
So, do you care for some cuddling? Or your fiancé wants a professional touch? Lonnie is a call away.
11. Luke Howard (Namer of Clouds)
My gosh! Namer of clouds? This is the point we doff our hats.
This is not just a title innovation, but also a job innovation. It just happens that I do not know employers in this line of work. It is probably a monopolistic kind of stuff. Just for daring, innovative entrepreneurs.
12. Derek Gordon (Ranch Dressing Expert)
Thinking of a decorator? No, this guy arranges drinks on the shelves.
Looking for an organized bar or to set your supermarket in order? Call Derek the Ranch Dressing Expert.
13. James Dunstan (Space Lawyer)
This is an “out-of-this-world” lawyer. Trained and specializes in the affairs and legal system of aliens…oops! I meant the laws of outer space. It’s all getting tough down here and we all should understand James’ diversionary, creative and out-of-the-box interest.
Piercing through the veil of the hilarious job title lies a whole domain of law that transcends international law and instruments.
On a lighter note, we really do not know where James should situate his office.
On the moon? Or perhaps, more fittingly, space.
14. Kris Holm (Extreme Unicyclist)
How this became a job title is probably a mystery.
This is one of the weirdest titles in the world and Kris Holm seems to have pioneered the move that will forever change the world of job title creativity and also leave us in awe.
We know who unicyclists are and Kris is just not contented with being with the faint-hearted.
He ventures into dangerous landscapes and he decided that such exploits should feature in his ‘job title’ to show the distinction.
After all, who would not add the Ph.D. after his name to reflect his high status.
How this would fit into your CV in case you have such description is what the employers would have to deal with, not me. It is an extreme job.
15. Lee Sambrook (Head of Elephants)
Desperate Head of Department? You said so. My hands are washed. Lee chooses to magnify his office and it is so scary what his idea is.
The Head of Elephants? Really, Lee? What’s up, bro?
16. Russell Kleinbach (Bride Kidnapping Experts)
“Hello, I’m a bride kidnapping expert”. You cannot but love complimentary cards that come with this title.
Russell runs a business of surprising brides by picking them up and dropping them off at their husband’s house.
This is not just weird, it is crazy hilarious for a job title.
17. Sarah Durdin Robertson (Head of Potatoes)
Wow! You just have to bring the finest quality to the table once it concerns what people refer to as your job title. What do you call me if I am in charge of organizing potatoes and making sure they are right in line?
Well, you got your answer.
18. Ghazaali Jafaar (MILF Commander)
Hmmm. Why am I suddenly so sure the first thing that popped into your mind was a busty neighbor or colleague or friend or that porn star! You are so crude!
You are probably even thinking MILF commander is a someone who controls a group of busty porn stars and how on earth this became a job title.
I was in that category and laughed out my ass before punching the job title on google.
Guess what came up: Moro Islamic Liberation Front Commander. Happens to be an Islamic movement.
It spoilt the fun a bit but I got wondering which organization would name its hierarchy such.
So weird. Before long, I got laughing again.
19. Bill Margold (Pornography Historian)
My Gosh! So there is actually someone who does this?
I cracked up for approximately an hour when I heard this.
There is actually someone in the world that has the responsibility of studying and keeping records of how porn came into existence and its evolution.
What a cool, sacred job.
Someday, you get to invite your parents or your family to work. Or do something cooler than that – tell your fiancé’s dad about your work in details.
A kind of father-in-law bonding you know? Just get us his reaction. That’s all we ask, you know.
20. Stan Cuavin (Bread Scientist)
The era of “bakers” seems to be fast fading away with the ‘scientists’ who are now trying to take over the world. Bread scientist!
I sincerely guess that Stan must have heard of and seen food scientists.
He rediscovered that he worked in a bakery and something about title rebranding must have struck him.
Stan is an incredible worker, committed to work, creativity, and branding. He has also committed to scientifical analyzes of dough.
Thank you, Stan – you made the world to see the best in your job.
21. Ray Woolfe (Director of Sandbags)
All your board of directors, music, movie directors et al be feeling special. Here comes the Director of sandbags. Sandbags are bags filled with sand to stop flooding.
So many technicalities can be involved (you know) that it demands a special director. I dare you to arrive at a better title. Director…hmmm. We’ll leave it at that.
Just in case you want to sandbag your house (how to sandbag properly):
22. Boot Shew (Ex-Moonshiner)
You will always get to wonder what this awesome genius was thinking when he introduced himself as an “ex-moonshiner”.
I thought people were paid based on their current employment or a pension after retiring from a legal job.
This man has just broken that rule.
He has a job of being a former guy that distills spirits illegally.
I mean, the job of being the former guy.
He is retired and wants to show he deserves respect for his contribution.
What a way to cunningly couch a well-deserved title.
23. Ogechi Ololo (Commissioner for Happiness and Purpose Fulfillment — A real ministry just set up by a Nigerian State Government in 2017)
Toward the end of 2017, the Governor of Imo State of Nigeria, Rochas Okorocha, established a state department (ministry) to be known as Ministry for Happiness and Purpose Fulfilment. The first of its kind in all the earth.
He then appointed his sister as Commissioner. The Commission is to ensure people in the state are happy people. What a Government Portfolio. To crown it, the Commission was initially named Ministry of Happiness and Couple’s Fulfilment before the distinguished governor claimed it was the Printer’s Devil that caused the error!
You hear all this and you stop to ask, “Am I really in this comical world?”.
Not funny to Nigerians. Enter the State Commissioner for Happiness and Couple’s Fulfilment – A real rib cracker to the rest of the world.
They are crazy, they are funny and weird! Fancy it or not, it obviously seems these hilarious titles have come to stay.
But no pressure. If you honestly think your job title is fine – you can keep it traditional just like that or you could give it a bogus uplift.
However, one thing is paramount about innovating job titles: once you want to include a non-traditional job title into your Curriculum Vitae, make sure it is not ambiguous or a non-sense. So, find your flavor today!
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