A 3-Step Process to Break a Cycle of Frustration, Stress, and Fighting at Work
“If a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment, not the flower”
– this is my favorite quote when it comes to the working environment and employees’ development.
You may have found yourself in a situation where almost everything you want to do at work faces the resistance in your office.
Sometimes it comes from your boss, sometimes from your colleagues and sometimes even from you – because you believe someone will have resistance and you find your effort to be useless, so sadly you give up in the first place.
Unfortunately, we have seen many companies with extraordinary employees perform poorly, due to the toxic culture that rules amongst employees.
To highlight how important this is, just imagine a company that consists of brilliant individuals that can’t show what they know because they are too busy fighting over something irrelevant. It would be a waste of talents.
In order to help people overcome this toxic culture and also prevent it in the future, we have covered the most common roots of the frustration, stress, and fighting at work, and also a simple 3-step process how to overcome these challenges.
THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM
Before discussing the solutions and looking for a way to improve the work environment, we have to find the actual cause of the problem.
Here comes a variety of things that can influence as to feel stressed, and eventually even depressed, and we need to seek for as many as possible perspectives in order to become able to actually cope with these problems.
Causes can be different – coming from personal problems or coming actually from the environment at the work.
And the tricky thing about the environment is the fact that it consists of all the people who work in the same company, and all of them also have their personal challenges.
Taking everything into consideration, we have made a list of things that usually cause stress, frustration and fighting at work.
1. Work Overload
This one is a strictly professional cause and it appears when an employee becomes overwhelmed with the amount of work he or she is responsible for.
Work should challenge us, but also there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
This line is different for anyone and it represents the moment in which challenges at work become frustration at work.
To put this in another way, imagine getting a new position that you were really looking forward to.
This feels quite rewarding for you, but also you are aware that the higher position brings more responsibility and therefore, you need to become a better version of yourself, in order to accomplish everything.
This can be quite healthy and result in you improving much faster and becoming more competent than ever.
However, if the load of work you are getting becomes too much for you to handle and you are not able to get everything done due to the lack of your competence, it can become very frustrating, and eventually result in you quitting or down stepping, instead of progressing.
This can be a strong driver for all the following frustration at can influence satisfaction at work not only for the individual but for all employees.
2. Long Hours
Almost every company comes that period of the year when extra hours are mandatory in order for everything to be done.
This is a piece of old news, but what is actually new and not well known are the consequences that can come from working too long.
There have been many examples of people becoming less productive although they are working longer.
It has been proven that there is no rule when it comes to the connection between long hours and productivity.
On the contrary, the latest studies show us that working for a shorter period of time boosts employees’ satisfaction and therefore brings more results to the company.
Why is it stressful for people to work longer? People often feel as they are doing something they don’t want to do, due to the fact that they are staying longer in the office than they believe they should, feeling robbed of their free time.
If employees start feeling threatened by the company, they will become stressed and frustrated, and eventually do the job just to say that it’s done, not dedicating themselves to it actually. Unfortunately, this is their way of getting back to the company if they can’t find a better way to express how unsatisfied they are.
Even though they are “getting back” to the company and finding their way to justice, they are doing something that’s not according to their values and beliefs, which will leave them feeling even worse.
You can see how this becomes a cycle of frustration that is hard to break.
3. Close Deadlines
We have all experienced pressure due to deadlines at least once in our lives.
You know how bad it can get when you are aware of everything you need to do, aware of the little time that is left and the consequences that will appear if you cross the deadline.
Being aware doesn’t help when you are running late and start having panic attacks that not only make you feel worse but also prevent you from finishing anything.
If you got that feeling even for a moment now, try imagining feeling that way each day at the work. Would there be a smile on your face while you are headed to work?
Probably not and we completely understand you.
Sometimes it’s the employees that are running late with their tasks and getting themselves in these kinds of situations – there’s no doubt.
But unfortunately, in some companies, it’s the employers who push others and drive the pressure.
Having everything mentioned above in mind, there’s no doubt that being constantly in a hurry and feeling as you are underachieving at your work, causes stress which can lead do different arguments and conflicts.
4. Work-related Insecurity
This usually occurs when starting a job in a new company or at some higher position.
For example, a person who comes to a completely new environment without any support of others and in the worst case scenario poor training can feel overly stressed.
Insecurity is a well-known thing as we are all fighting a battle with it in our own unique ways.
What is common for everyone is the fact that we are all haunted by our insecurities when we find ourselves in an unknown ground.
What we need in those kinds of situations is somebody who will guide us and support us, until we realize our potential and get confident in our abilities.
Unfortunately, in some companies, mentors of the newbies sometimes don’t dedicate themselves enough to the people they are responsible for which results in high insecurity.
Coming back each day from a work where you feel incompetent and not supported can lead to deep levels of stress and eventually result in people resigning from their positions.
5. The Absence of Autonomy
If people can find purpose in what they are doing and can clearly see how everything they do contributes to a bigger cause, they will want to contribute, and they will want to contribute in their own way.
Why does this happen? People enjoy being part of bigger groups – take society as the most obvious example, but also enjoy being recognized for something good they did.
When it comes to work, people want to have control over their piece of work, as they are the ones who will have to stand behind it.
The problem occurs when the wishes of the employees are not the same as the wishes of the employers.
Employees often feel afraid and lack the courage to stand up to their bosses, defending their ideas.
Even if they do, it can often happen that the boss finds the idea irrelevant, concluding that he or she is more competent, due to their experience.
This brings employees in a really bad position where they feel as they are not important or that their opinion is not relevant.
These are the most common roots of the problems that come directly from the work environment. Unfortunately, even if all of these problems were covered, there still might be challenges that cause frustration, stress, and conflicts at work.
But these cases are rare, and can’t impact that much the work environment.
What’s more, if the work environment is healthy and supportive it can help any employee to sort out the things in personal areas of life, too.
HOW TO BREAK CYCLE OF FRUSTRATION, STRESS, AND FIGHTING AT WORK
There are different ways to succeed in this, but we decided to present you one process that has helped many people before you.
In order to complete it successfully, here is a step by step guide that can help you feel calmer and at peace at work.
1. Become Aware of Yourself
You might find this narcissistic, but trust us, it’s definitely not. You always have to start from yourself – no matter if it is a good or a bad thing happening.
In this ever-changing world, there is only one thing you can control – yourself. To be more precise, you can control only what you think about.
What you think about becomes what you do, and your actions result in everything that is happening to you.
That’s why it is very important to become completely aware of yourself and ensure your inner peace.
What does it mean to become completely aware of yourself? It means getting to the bottom of your strengths, weaknesses, passion, and purpose.
When you become aware of your personal WHY, you will find yourself in a situation where making decisions, collaborating with others, stating your opinion etc. becomes quite simple and something you do without worrying about it.
Only when we get to know ourselves, we can start getting to know others, and most importantly understand them.
If you know who you are and what strengths and weaknesses you have, you will have no challenge telling yes or no to your boss when it comes to some task.
Also, when you are completely aware of your beliefs and values, there is only a small chance for you to become frustrated by your co-workers or some stakeholder.
On the contrary, you are in a position to understand others and help them feel peaceful and work in harmony, too.
The most important advice for you when you begin your journey of raising self-awareness: make sure you focus on your strengths because your strengths are the ones that will help you make progress in your life.
If you rely on your strengths, you will see how much you can progress, and most importantly, you will feel empowered most of the time.
2. Start Working on Your Emotional Self-control
Now that you are aware of your strengths and weakness, your most important thing in life – your WHY, and also what actually causes you to feel in a specific way, it is the time for you to work on coping with emotions.
Emotions can be an amazing thing and driver of outstanding results in the company – everybody has emotions, and when we feel something strongly, we are more keen on dedicating ourselves to that thing.
But on the other hand, the more invested we feel, the higher chance of stress and frustration can appear, especially if that thing is not entirely in our hands, but depends on the others too.
In those kinds of situations, our emotional intelligence, as well as self-control, play the most important role. Imagine a situation where a conflict occurs and you get completely frustrated.
Your initial reaction would be to become angry and start an argument with your colleagues (if you are an expressive type) or become angry and keep it for yourself, holding in those toxic emotions for the rest of the day.
Instead of reacting in that way, you should be thankful for those kinds of the situation because that means that you can practice your emotional self-control.
This means reconsidering the way you act, by finding the best possible solution for yourself.
The goal should be to embrace the fact that for instance, a conflict occurred, both sides have some arguments, but nobody has a bad intention and there is no reason for us to feel threatened.
Emotional self-control can put us in a situation where we see everything clearly, have an objective perspective and can completely understand the other side, even though we still don’t agree with some things.
3. Become Friends With People You Work With
It might sound hard to believe in the first place, but actually, your co-workers can become your friends.
Why is this good for lowering the stress in the office?
You know how no matter which argument you have with your friends, you have no fear of speaking up your mind and you are not afraid that something (in this case your relationship) will be ruined.
That’s because you have trust in your friends and you know that an argument is just a temporary thing. That type of relationships you should strive to build with your coworkers.
It would mean that you have no fear of giving them feedback, or that when they give you the feedback you don’t take it personally.
You trust them that it’s with a good intention and for the good of the company.
Lastly, you will start to enjoy work more.
That means that you will leave your work with a big smile, and also come back the next day with even bigger.
Also, anything that happens on work – for example, work overload, long hours etc. will be much easier to handle if you have support from your colleagues, better say friends.
END OF ARTICLE
Many people hate Mondays, but it’s actually their work that they hate.
This is something you should definitely avoid, and trust us, it’s not that hard.
All you have to do is actually realize what the problem is, and apply a simple 3 step guide for applying the solution.
If you don’t know from where to start – start from yourself. It is always the best start. Analyzing your thoughts and actions can lead to many discoveries, and most importantly, you will finally understand yourself, as well as things that get on your nerves.
Some good piece of advice you should take with you after reading this text is to always find the time for self-reflecting.
Most of us think that we don’t have the time for this, but actually, it’s the one thing we always need to have time for.
You can combine it with practicing mindfulness – for example, disciplines such as yoga or meditation. There is no better way to start the day.
And in the end, remember always that we are all human beings and that we all are facing some different challenges.
Don’t judge others and always try to understand their perspective.
You can learn a lot from it, not to mention how improved your relationships with others would be if they saw how empathetic you were. And you are empathetic – just let it overwhelm you while you master your Zen and calmness and bring peace to your office.
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