Why Do I Have Bad Luck? 2 Simple Things to Change Your Destiny
Do you believe in luck? Do you attribute the good events in your life to good luck and the negative events to bad luck?
Sometimes, a set of negative events happen in life and you can’t help but think that you are an unlucky person.
A couple of years ago, I experienced such a series of bad events. I had applied for a scholarship to study abroad and met all the requirements for the scholarship.
All that stood between me and the scholarship was a single test that I was very sure I would ace.
A few days before the test, I fell ill and was bedridden.
This affected my ability to prepare adequately for the test, and I even had to take the test while under medication.
As you might have guessed, I didn’t pass the test, and my hopes of studying abroad went down the drain.
To make matters worse, I had applied for the scholarship together with my then girlfriend, and she aced the test and snagged the scholarship.
Shortly after, she broke up with me, claiming that it would be impossible for us to remain in a relationship when we were in different countries, and she felt I had no hope of joining her abroad.
To say I was devastated would be an understatement.
At this point, I started feeling like the universe was out to get me. I started wondering what I had done wrong to attract such bad luck into my life.
For the next couple of days, I stayed alone in my room brooding and wondering why the world was so unfair to me. I was in such a negative state of mind.
I even had a chance to retake the test, but I did not apply for the retake because I felt that I was having a run of bad luck and that something else would come up to prevent me from getting the scholarship.
It took a lot of encouragement from one of my closest friends to get rid of the belief that the universe was conspiring against me.
I am pretty sure we have all had experiences that made us feel like we were having a large helping of bad luck.
As I came to later find out, however, this is nothing but a belief.
It is all in the mind. We don’t have a run of good or bad luck.
Sure, sometimes bad things happen to us when we least expect it and without any valid explanation.
However, these things don’t happen to you because you are unlucky or because you did something wrong.
They are purely random, and they happen to everyone.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), our brains are wired to look for patterns.
When we feel like things in our life are spinning out of control, our brains, in an attempt to provide some sense of control, invent patterns from purely random events.
This is why gamblers tend to see patterns where none exist, when the chance of winning is completely random.
In the case of bad events in life, our brain convinces us that we are having we are unlucky, and in a bid to further explain the situation, our brains convince us that we must have done something wrong that brought us the bad luck.
The truth, however, is that there is no bad luck. No one has better or worse luck than the other.
Things just happen randomly, and sometimes, it is inevitable that bad things will happen to you.
If you feel like you are having a run of bad luck, below are two simple things that will change your destiny and make you feel luckier.
STOP BELIEVING THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE
People who think that they have bad luck generally have this belief that the events in their life are controlled by some external force that outside themselves.
They believe that their actions have little or no impact on their lives, and that they have no ability to change their lives.
The problem with this system is that people who attribute the events in their life to good or bad luck have little incentive to take action to change their lives.
After all, what is the point of putting a lot of effort to change your life when the events in your life are determined by something outside your control?
Therefore, these people tend to simply accept whatever happens to them in life, or they turn to superstitious activities in an attempt to influence their luck, such as carrying a rabbit’s foot or crossing their fingers.
Another problem with the belief that the negative things in your life are a direct result of bad luck is that it often triggers the blame game.
Instead of focusing on how you can move forward from whatever has happened, your focus is directed backwards.
You start wondering what you could have done differently and blame yourself for what you did. You start thinking you are not good enough or that you are not worthy.
The first key to changing your destiny and feeling luckier, therefore, is to let go of the idea that you have no control over your life.
The truth is that your actions have a huge impact on your life.
If you look at most of the most successful people in the world, many of them attribute their success to their own actions and efforts.
Even when bad things happen to them, they don’t blame it on the world or any other external forces.
Instead, they look for ways to keep moving and make their life better despite the setbacks they experience.
If you want to start feeling luckier, you should adopt the same mentality.
When bad things happen to you, don’t spend time pitying yourself or whining about having a run of bad luck. Instead, try to find out what you can do to make your situation better.
If you just lost your job, instead of complaining about how your boss never appreciated your efforts, this should act as motivation for you to aggressively look for another job.
You might even get a better job than the one you just lost, in which case your ‘bad luck’ would turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
If your business just failed, instead of lamenting about the universe being out to get you, see what you can learn from the experience and start figuring out how you will move forward.
Remember, as the popular quote by Coleman Cox goes, the harder you work, the luckier you get.
FOCUS ON THE GOOD IN YOUR LIFE
There is an age-old tale about a Cherokee grandfather giving his grandson teachings about life.
The grandfather tells the grandson that inside him, and indeed inside every person on earth, there are two wolves – a white one and a black one. The white wolf is good and full of positivity.
The black wolf, on the other hand, is evil and full of negativity, regret, anger, and self-pity.
The grandfather tells the boy that the two wolves are constantly engaged in a vicious battle.
After taking a minute to ponder on the story, the boy asks his grandson which wolf eventually wins the battle.
With a smile, his grandson simply answers, “The one you feed.”
This fable is a very good illustration of what goes on in life.
The two wolves represent the two sides of life – the good and the bad.
Whichever wolf you feed is determined by what you choose to pay attention to in your life. If you pay attention to the good things in your life, you will see more good things in your life and appear to be lucky.
If you pay attention to the bad things in your life, you will notice more bad things in life, and it will almost impossible to shake the belief that you are unlucky.
When you are convinced that the universe is out to get you, you will only pay attention to events that reinforce this view, and the more you notice them, the more you convince yourself that you are unlucky and the more negative your life becomes.
This creates a vicious cycle of negativity. You become demotivated and stop putting in the effort to go after the good things in life because you are convinced that your ‘bad luck’ will prevent you from achieving what you want.
This is what caused me to not bother reapplying for the scholarship test, even if there was a high chance I would have aced the test had I retaken it.
A friend of mine named Dylan went through an experience that is a perfect illustration of how this works. Dylan had the dream of becoming a stand-up comedian.
Spurred by his dream, he decided to audition for a local comedy show. Unfortunately, he did not qualify, and he went back home feeling a bit disappointed.
Still, the passion was burning inside him, and he was determined to follow his dreams.
In the following five months, Dylan attended three more auditions and failed to qualify in all three.
At this point, he became heartbroken and was convinced that he was just not lucky.
He lost his self-confidence and his performances in the following auditions became even poorer.
He eventually stopped auditioning, convinced there was no point in going for the auditions when fate was against him. At no point did he consider trying to improve his craft.
All he did was complain about how unlucky he was and how biased the judges were.
At one point, I introduced Dylan to another friend of mine (Bryson) who was doing quite well in the comedy industry.
When he learnt that Dylan was almost giving up on his dream of becoming a stand-up comedian, Bryson offered to help Dylan qualify for the next auditions.
Dylan was reluctant at first (after all, he thought that he would just fail since his stars were not aligned), but he eventually decided to give it a try.
They started practicing together. Bryson taught him how to deliver his content properly, how to use pauses for comedic effect, how to work the stage, how to read the crowd, and so on.
After about a month of practice, Dylan felt he was ready to give the auditions another try, and guess what?
He qualified and has been a regular performer in the show for about 8 months now. He has also learnt the importance of constantly improving his performances.
Dylan’s case shows why focusing on your perceived bad luck is bad for you.
It saps your morale, energy and confidence, demotivates you from trying harder and puts you in victim mentality.
If you want to start feeling luckier, you should shift your focus from what is going wrong in your life to the good in your life.
This puts you in a more positive state of mind and gives you the hope to continue pushing harder despite any setbacks you might have experienced.
In the end, having a positive state of mind leads to a more positive and seemingly ‘luckier’ life.
In an attempt to investigate the influence of the thoughts you pay attention to on your chances of being lucky, psychologist Richard Wiseman conducted a survey where he asked the participants to indicate on a scale of 0% to 100% how they expected a specific future situation to turn out.
The questions ranged from how much of a great time they expected to have during their next vacation to how much they expected to achieve at least one of their lifetime dreams.
The findings from Wiseman’s survey were astounding.
Participants who considered themselves to be lucky said that they expected a 90% chance of having a great time during their vacation and an 84% chance of realizing at least one of their lifetime goals.
People who consider themselves as unlucky, on the other hand, had much lower expectations. They indicated that they expected a 60% chance of having a great time during a vacation or of achieving a lifetime goal.
From Wiseman’s study, it is clear that people who tend to be lucky expect to be lucky.
They look at the future with positive expectations, which leads to positive experiences and a perception of more luck.
Because of their positive outlook, they are also more likely to take advantage of any opportunities that they come across, which increases their “luck” even more.
Even when faced with a negative event, they look at the positive side of their experience.
For instance, when involved in a mild car accident, a person who considers himself to be unlucky might see it as a sign of bad luck.
They will wonder why it happened to them, and they might even be angry at the universe because the accident resulted in them being late for work.
A person who considers himself to be lucky, on the other hand, might see this as a sign of good luck. They will be happy because they survived the accident without any injury.
Both people experience the same situation, but one sees it as bad luck while the other sees it as good luck.
Therefore, if you want to become luckier in your life, you should stop paying attention to the negative side of your life and shift your focus to the positive things in your life.
When something you consider as bad happens to you, try to find the positive side in it.
Have hope that things will eventually work out in your favor, regardless of how long it takes.
Instead of spending time pondering about your ‘bad luck’, focus on what constructive steps you can take to attract more good luck.
TAKE ACTION AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE
With those two simple things, you can change your destiny and attract more good luck to your life. You might have noticed that the two simple fixes discussed above have to do with changing your mind.
Once you stop believing that you have no control over your life and start focusing on the good things in your life, you will stop perceiving yourself as being unlucky in life.
However, this is not enough. If you actually want to start attracting good things in your life, you need to start taking action to bring about the kind of change you want to see in your life.
Set aside like an hour of your time when you know you won’t be disturbed, get a pen and a notebook and come up with a plan on how you will achieve the good things you want in your life.
It does not matter what you want – whether you want a better job, whether you want to buy your dream car or your dream home, win a scholarship or find the love of your life – sit down and figure out what exactly you need to do to get yourself where you want to be.
Let’s assume you just lost your job and are looking for a lucky break that will not only help you find another job, but the job of your dreams.
In this case, you should start by ensuring that you have a great resume.
Do your research on how to write a bulletproof resume, and then spend some time making sure that yours is as good as can be.
From there, do some research about different companies within your industry and come up with a list of companies you would love to work for (remember, you are looking for your dream job, not just any job).
Once your list is ready, customize your CV to each of these companies, write a great customized cover letter to match each position you are applying for and send out your applications to the companies you identified.
You can also reach out to recruiters within your industry in order to increase your visibility.
Taking action will increase your chances of getting lucky and finding a better job, compared to constantly pitying yourself and whining about your bad luck.
This does not only apply to finding a job. If you want to find the love of your life, start frequenting places where you are more likely to interact with other singles, brush up on your small talk skills, start dressing more nicely, and so on.
If you want your business to be featured in the media, start building connections with guys in the media industry.
Once you finally get featured, others will think you were lucky, but in essence, you will have attracted your own luck by taking action.
The point here is that if you want to stop that run of bad luck, not only do you need to change your mindset, but you also need to take action in accordance with your new mindset.
While it sometimes feels like you are having a run of bad luck, the truth is that it is all in the mind. You can change your destiny and end your run of bad luck by simply changing your mindset.
The good thing is that you have now learnt the two simple things you need to do in order to change your mindset.
The first one is to let go of the belief that you have no control over your life.
The outcome of your life is not determined by luck or some other external force, but rather by your actions.
The second thing you need to do to change your mindset is to start focusing on the good things in your life. Your thoughts have a huge influence on your life.
You attract what you think about.
Therefore, if you want to attract positive things, you should focus on the positive side of your life.
Finally, if you want to become luckier and attract good things into your life, your change in mindset should be accompanied by action.
Remember, the harder you work, the luckier you get!