The Best Relationship Advice I Ever Received
Relationships can be filled with either awesome or terrible experiences – in most cases, both. There are many things to factor in if we wish to have a long and successful relationship.
One of the very first and important things to note is to learn not to compare your relationship with other people’s relationships.
Ensure that you enjoy your relationship in the present moment. You are to enjoy your relationship and not to endure it. The relationship is not only a good way to get to know another human being, but also to get to know yourself better.
A relationship can be easy or difficult depending on how you make it work with your partner. There is an exchange of energies to channel into your relationship to make it work.
It takes input from both partners to have a successful relationship. The relationship involves a give-and-take mentality. Your actions and thoughts play a large role in a relationship.
Wisely choose whom you spend your time with as you start to become like the people who you spend the most time with. Some people tend to bring out the best in you, and others the worse.
The good advice can definitely help you stay on the right path in a relationship and this article shares the best relationship advice some people received as well as the best one that I have ever received.
Here we go!
1. CONSTANTLY PRACTICE SELF-LOVE
It takes two healthy people to make a relationship work. I have learned that one must first be an emotionally stable and healthy individual in every aspect before one can get involved in a romantic relationship.
You should know that it is up to you to create your happiness, it is not your partner’s responsibility. Being aware of this will prevent a toxic relationship with your partner.
Each of you must individually create happiness and then bring it to the relationship to make it work. The involvement of two stable individuals in a relationship causes tolerance in the relationship.
Being a stable partner implies that you have your own interests, passions,and ideas. You must constantly practice self-love.
You cannot truly build a relationship until you build self-love.
Ensure that you do not abandon yourself by focusing entirely on your partner. Do not compromise your passions and perspectives because of the relationship. Self-abandonment is one of the major causes of issues in relationships. When you are not having a focus on yourself in a relationship, it shows you are clinging to the relationship too much.
Focus on yourself by building your dreams, achieving your goals and learning to improve every aspect of your life. Learn to take care of yourself first.
One of the benefits of constantly improving yourself is that you get to add value to the relationship. Create other forms of relationship outside your romantic relationship.
Meet new people. Learn to share your visions with others, as this will lead to you becoming a better person. Enjoy time alone and have fun on your own. Only then can you be fun for others around you, including your partner.
2. AVOID HURTING YOUR PARTNER
It takes a conscious effort to have a successful relationship. Not everyone can respond to snarky comments as a mentally strong person would.
You must deliberately avoid some actions to prevent hurting your partner’s feelings. This may involve you saying words or doing actions to please your partner and actively to avoid hurting him or her.
Ensure you pay adequate attention to your partner’s emotions. It is normal as humans to want to feel like we are the number one in our relationships especially in the romantic ones, so make your partner feel like he or she is the first person on your list of priority.
Learn to respect your partner’s feelings. Ensure you never take your partner for granted. It is essential to know that everyone tends to look somewhere else for attention if his or her partner is ignoring or hurting him or her in one way or the other.
Many people tend to assume that because they are indifferent about an action or deed hence, their partner should be. The fact that no relationship is flawless does not serve as a reason for complacency in a relationship.
3. LEARN TO ALWAYS APPRECIATE YOUR PARTNER
When you value or respect your partner, it shows that you appreciate him or her. Appreciating your partner shows that you hold him or her on high esteem. Perform actions that show you are grateful.
However, also say words such as, “I am so fortunate to have you in my life”. Saying simple words of appreciation consistently makes the recipient feel like they a big deal in your life.
Showing appreciation makes people feel important and happier and this leads to a successful relationship. Make simple actions such as sending a love text message, holding hands with him or her, buying them a surprise gift, cuddling, preparing meals and so on.
I have come to understand that there is no disadvantage of showing love or respect to one’s partner. Showing gratitude shows that you value your relationship with your partner.
Learn to meet the needs of your partner as this shows that you hold your relationship in high esteem. It is important to pay proper attention to what you and your partner do for each other.
All these words and actions of appreciation help foster a relationship.
4. BE WITH SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU CAN SHARE YOUR VALUES AND IDEAS
You do not want to be involved with someone who thinks entirely different from you. It is very frustrating. In relationships, there is the importance of having a common ground, that is, ideas, perspectives and so on, with your partner.
There can be differences too but the base for a successful relationship is in the similarities two partners have in common. The wider the common values and interests, the firmer your foundations for a relationship is.
You might commit the error of not finding your fit if you jump into a relationship with someone without getting to know the person’s perspectives or preferences first.
The relationship does not work like that because you have to be rational in your thinking. I have met many people that rushed into a relationship and they get too scared to break the relationship thereby remain unhappy in it.
Nevertheless, is better to give time to search for a suitable partner before you commit yourself to a relationship. You can make a list of the qualities you desire in a partner. Be committed to finding your fit.
Practical ways of doing that are by going out or visiting places, meeting new people, talking to them, and getting to know what you love in other people, and so on.
In addition, when you eventually find your fit, have the understanding that it only means that you have gotten something that has a true potential.
You have found someone who you can build upon and look forward to seeing them the next time. After this search, your focus now lies on making the relationship work, and you both growing and learning together.
5. ALWAYS SETTLE ISSUES WISELY WITH YOUR PARTNER
In romantic relationships, we often feel that the thing you really need from your partner is the very thing he or she is not able to give you. There will be conflict but do not run from that conflict. It is normal for issues to come up during any relationship.
You should always ensure that you approach your ‘good conflicts’ with love, not with bitterness, and blame, so you prevent your relationship from being a toxic one.
I have observed that the way a problem is brought up in a talk determines both how the rest of that discussion will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. At times folks bring up an issue by attacking or blaming their partner, also known as destructive criticism, which is one of the killers of a relationship.
In settling an issue with your partner, ensure you start and end wisely. You can start out, instead of saying, ‘You always leave your clothes all over the bedroom! Is there anything you ever remember?’ and try a more calm approach, focusing on your own emotional reaction and a positive request. In another instance, you could say, “I get pissed off when I see dishes in the living room.
Could you please put them back in the kitchen when you are done?”.You should always aim to do the right thing for your relationship by restoring peace after a fight, even if it is just by saying, “I’m sorry”.
6. KEEP THE FIRE BURNING
This simply involves you doing things that will make you stay in love with your partner. Things that might include you saying “I love you” consistently before sleeping, taking him or her out on a surprise date, going for vacations, getting him or her small gifts, helping with the house chores, visiting the malls together, going to the movies and so on.
Although these sound simple to do in a relationship, little things add up to big things. It is necessary that you get a break from the daily stress and spend some alone time as a couple without your mobile phones and without the Internet.
It can be a fun day trip or just a few quiet hours to yourselves. The focus is simply to get away from the daily routines even if you have nowhere to go with him or her.
The same way you were with your partner at the beginning of the relationship is the same way you should be even 30 years later. The little displays of love that you give each other should not stop. I have met with folks that stopped showing adequate display of affection to their partner because of their children.
This should not be so in a romantic relationship. The fire between you and your partner should always keep glowing. Never lose the focus on what attracted you to the other person in the first place.
Though that part might seem concealed, it is still there, so stir it up.
7. TOLERANCE IS KEY
You should learn to tolerate your partner. Everyone has flaws in one way or the other. It is normal for there to be differences in a relationship as it involves two individuals with different interests in some areas coming together.
There might be clashes at different times but you must learn to manage these clashes by being tolerant. You must learn to tolerate your partner with their differences.
Your perfect partner is not one without flaws but the one with flaws that you feel good to deal with. Learn to tolerate and forgive your partner’s inadequacies.
Neither of you is perfect so instead of letting some annoying traits control you, endeavor you get in touch with the upside of these specific flaws even though they might not be recognized at the moment. Instead of getting pissed off when he is screaming when watching a football match, for instance, tell yourself how much you love his passion for the game.
Be tolerant by letting go of issues,avoiding arguments, separate your partner’s intention and actions when you feel offended by his or her actions.
8. HAVE THE MONEY TALK REGULARLY
Okay, so I have observed over time that partners rarely have the “money talk”. This is wrong! It has been shown that one of the killers of relationship is a financial discrepancy.
There is the tendency for the problem of financial instability to occur in a relationship if the partners rarely follow the way they spend or even when they do not talk about their finances regularly.
Also, learn to spend money on each other. It is not necessary for you to wait until a special occasion before you spend your money on your partner, no matter how little.
Give surprise packages to him or her. Learn to give tokens of gratitude for no specific reason. Avoid spending recklessly and extravagantly.
Always ensure you regularly have the money talk with your partner to prevent financial stress.
9. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO
The relationship involves two individuals thus; they both have shared responsibilities to make the relationship successful. Both people try to balance their time with each other and with the time for themselves. Both share the responsibility to communicate with each other, to perform the house chores and so on.
For instance, if one partner is a government worker who spends at least 40 hours at work every week and the other is an artist who paints at home, it is more appropriate for the one that works from home to take up the day-to-day parenting duties.
If one partner happens to be a neat freak and the other does not really care about the neatness of the house, it is appropriate for the one who cares to perform the home cleaning duties.
THE BEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE I EVER RECEIVED
The best relationship-related piece of advice that I have personally received is to communicate with your partner always– even when that is not so easy to do, and especially then.
It has helped me in building trust in my relationship with my partner I have learned to talk about everything and anything with my partner.
I have come to understand that communication is very crucial in a relationship.
Communication prevents secrecy. Communication will help foster your relationship more and communication prevents bitterness, malice, and backbiting. It will keep the fire burning and you would not be afraid of being honest with whom you love.
You must be willing to speak your mind whenever there is something bothering you in your relationship. Communicating your feelings to your partner helps to build trust and trust builds intimacy. Though you may be hurting, you must ensure you still talk to your partner.
No one else can make your relationship a successful one nor should any other person else but you.
Apart from respect, trust is an important factor. It is, in fact, the most commonly mentioned trait for a successful and stable relationship. Most people mentioned it in the context of jealousy and fidelity– trust your partner to go off on their own, do not get insecure or angry if you see them talking with someone else.
The deeper and longer the relationship and commitment, the more intertwined your lives become, and the more you will have to trust your partner to be of good behavior in your absence. Relationships tend to be always multidimensional, and the more dimensions are available, the richer and the more varied they are.
So, when you spend time with people, endeavor to involve different dimensions as many as possible. Such relationship dimensions can involve touching, intellectual support, emotional support, sharing economic resources, working towards common goals, doing fun things together and so on.
When you are with someone, you should try to activate as many dimensions as possible.
One of the keys to outstanding relationships is outstanding communication. In order for a relationship to work, you have to speak with your partner frequently and as much as possible – in person.
To show you are paying attention, you can drop your phone, look into his or her eye and start listening with full attention. You can even take turns in talking to say what is on your mind and to state your points, where one listens and the other talks.
A relationship involves two individuals with shared interests and perspectives but also with some differences. It takes two healthy partners to make a relationship work.
Learn to communicate more with your partner as it prevents a toxic relationship. Wish you and your partner all the best!
I’ll be happy when: I buy my dream car; I buy a home in a certain address; I have a million dollars …